You know how when your heart is searching for answers, they come at you from many different places at once?
When I started this blog, it was because I was in search of something that worked. And I thought I'd found the answer in the Paleo lifestyle. Unfortunately, over the years, that success didn't last. No matter how carefully I crafted our Paleo meals, I was gaining fat. So, I turned to macro counting. And for a while, that worked -- until it didn't.
I wasn't sure what was going wrong. I had my bloodwork done. I worked out harder. I increased my protein and decreased my carbs and fats. I weighed and measured and tracked.
BUT I WAS ALWAYS HUNGRY.
I was incredibly frustrated. I felt that someone who works out as hard as I do, who eats as healthy as I do, should be lean and strong. My body fat should be lower. If anything, I should be able to maintain, not watching the number on the scale and the measuring tape go up -- not getting too big around the waistline for my clothes. In addition, my digestive troubles had returned. My trouble with constipation became a daily battle, despite all the vegetables and the fluid intake. I worried that it was out of my control, due to my menopausal body. Or maybe my estrogen patches were to blame. Or perhaps there was an unseen problem, linked to my family history of diabetes and hypothyroidism and breast cancer. But I didn't want to be doomed to a pudgy middle! I want the way I look on the outside to reflect the things I feel are important on the inside.
Last month, we brought all our kids (and one grandkid!) together for Thanksgiving. I had a great conversation with my son-in-law (Ballerina's husband) about nutrition. He asked lots of questions with great enthusiasm. One of the things he asked struck me deeply -- he wondered what I would change about my current eating habits if I didn't have such strict restrictions on my macros. My answer wasn't that I wanted to sit around eating chocolate or chips or ice cream. I just wanted to add a piece of toast with breakfast. I wanted to not be afraid of oatmeal. I wanted to be able to eat an entire piece of fruit, instead of only being allowed to eat half. Most of all, I wanted to stop feeling hungry all the time. My meals were tasty, but not satisfying. It never felt like enough food.
During that week, Ballerina talked with me about intuitive eating -- about honoring my body's hunger, and not being afraid of food. I was nervous about that, but there was something in the idea that gave me hope.
Then I started reading Period Repair Manual, by Lara Briden. Even though I've had a hysterectomy, I found her book riveting. My uterus and ovaries were removed in 2008 due to endometriosis. There wasn't much research to guide me to other alternatives then. But I thought perhaps her research could still help me.
I started to think about the fact that the human body is remarkably self-healing, with the right circumstances. A few years ago, I cut off the tip of my finger while chopping chard. The doctor at the ER stitched it back on, but my exit instructions weren't very clear. I thought I was supposed to keep the ointment and gauze on my finger until I came back for stitches-removal. I changed the dressing each day, but I kept it carefully bandaged and splinted for two weeks, as I believed I'd been instructed. After two weeks passed, my finger was just as gross and soft and unhealed as the day I cut it. The nurse who saw me told me I was supposed to expose it to air. She told me to come back in a week, and to leave the bandage off. In just a couple days, my mushy finger started to heal. It was pretty yucky looking for a while, and the nerves still aren't 100% the same, but I didn't lose my finger.
Could I create the right circumstances for my body to heal? Why is it storing fat? Why isn't it eliminating waste? Why am I hungry all the time, in spite of eating plenty of satisfying protein and vegetables?
Dr. Briden writes:
Later, she cautions against viewing certain foods as dangerous:
It was as if she were speaking directly to me. She goes on to discuss the need for carbohydrates:
The more I read, the more I realized -- I haven't known how to create the right circumstances. Armed with better information, perhaps now I can. I'm all done measuring and weighing and tracking my macros. I'm all done feeling hungry all the dang time. Ignoring hunger is not a virtue. Hunger is your body's signal that it requires fuel. Starches are not evil. Potatoes and oats and bananas are not scary foods.
Over the past couple of weeks, I've been nervous that I would pile on the pounds now that I'm not restricting my food intake. But it hasn't happened. I feel happier. And I feel hopeful.
When I started this blog, it was because I was in search of something that worked. And I thought I'd found the answer in the Paleo lifestyle. Unfortunately, over the years, that success didn't last. No matter how carefully I crafted our Paleo meals, I was gaining fat. So, I turned to macro counting. And for a while, that worked -- until it didn't.
I wasn't sure what was going wrong. I had my bloodwork done. I worked out harder. I increased my protein and decreased my carbs and fats. I weighed and measured and tracked.
BUT I WAS ALWAYS HUNGRY.
I was incredibly frustrated. I felt that someone who works out as hard as I do, who eats as healthy as I do, should be lean and strong. My body fat should be lower. If anything, I should be able to maintain, not watching the number on the scale and the measuring tape go up -- not getting too big around the waistline for my clothes. In addition, my digestive troubles had returned. My trouble with constipation became a daily battle, despite all the vegetables and the fluid intake. I worried that it was out of my control, due to my menopausal body. Or maybe my estrogen patches were to blame. Or perhaps there was an unseen problem, linked to my family history of diabetes and hypothyroidism and breast cancer. But I didn't want to be doomed to a pudgy middle! I want the way I look on the outside to reflect the things I feel are important on the inside.
Last month, we brought all our kids (and one grandkid!) together for Thanksgiving. I had a great conversation with my son-in-law (Ballerina's husband) about nutrition. He asked lots of questions with great enthusiasm. One of the things he asked struck me deeply -- he wondered what I would change about my current eating habits if I didn't have such strict restrictions on my macros. My answer wasn't that I wanted to sit around eating chocolate or chips or ice cream. I just wanted to add a piece of toast with breakfast. I wanted to not be afraid of oatmeal. I wanted to be able to eat an entire piece of fruit, instead of only being allowed to eat half. Most of all, I wanted to stop feeling hungry all the time. My meals were tasty, but not satisfying. It never felt like enough food.
During that week, Ballerina talked with me about intuitive eating -- about honoring my body's hunger, and not being afraid of food. I was nervous about that, but there was something in the idea that gave me hope.
Then I started reading Period Repair Manual, by Lara Briden. Even though I've had a hysterectomy, I found her book riveting. My uterus and ovaries were removed in 2008 due to endometriosis. There wasn't much research to guide me to other alternatives then. But I thought perhaps her research could still help me.
Could I create the right circumstances for my body to heal? Why is it storing fat? Why isn't it eliminating waste? Why am I hungry all the time, in spite of eating plenty of satisfying protein and vegetables?
Dr. Briden writes:
Hunger is normal, natural, and healthy. Hunger is how your body gets the nutrition it needs ... Don't fight your hunger. Instead, honor it by giving your body substantial, satisfying meals.
Later, she cautions against viewing certain foods as dangerous:
Please do not fall into the trap of becoming too rigid or fearful of food. That can lead you into a downward spiral of undereating or being afraid to eat out or visit friends.
It was as if she were speaking directly to me. She goes on to discuss the need for carbohydrates:
You deserve to feel satisfied and be fully nourished. As a woman, you need more food than you've been led to believe.
The more I read, the more I realized -- I haven't known how to create the right circumstances. Armed with better information, perhaps now I can. I'm all done measuring and weighing and tracking my macros. I'm all done feeling hungry all the dang time. Ignoring hunger is not a virtue. Hunger is your body's signal that it requires fuel. Starches are not evil. Potatoes and oats and bananas are not scary foods.
Over the past couple of weeks, I've been nervous that I would pile on the pounds now that I'm not restricting my food intake. But it hasn't happened. I feel happier. And I feel hopeful.
See additional reviews on this book here: www.danielaburgess.com/blog/2021/1/17/periodrepair
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